The ingredients that came together to make it possible for Max to come into my life……A girl I was dating, Craigslist, a property that was conducive, a soft spot for dogs (particularly Rottie’s), and a work schedule that allowed significantly flexible time to spend with a dog.
In 2014 I was fortunate enough to be able to buy a house in La Mesa, CA that had a fairly large, fenced-in backyard. In that backyard is an additional dwelling unit (a small, detached house). Shortly after moving into the main house, Monique (the girl I was seeing/dating at that time) and her daughter moved into the back house. Shortly after moving in, Monique started suggesting the idea of getting a dog —- together (owning it together; sharing responsibility, cost, care, love, etc…). And that was the key point —- together! —- since I most likely wouldn’t have gotten a dog on my own (too busy, on the go, frequently out of town, limited mobility for walking/playing)
One day Monique saw a young (about a year and a half old) Rottie advertised on Craigslist (in Oceanside, CA) and emailed(?) or maybe showed me the pic/info. She said she would drive up there to look at and meet the dog, with the possibility of getting him. I immediately said that I would go up instead of her because I felt I had more willpower, willingness to say “no, thank you” than she did. From La Mesa to where Max was, in Oceanside, was about an hour drive. On the drive up, my main thought was —- I’ll get to see a nice doggie, chat with some guy, and have a nice drive, a short road trip ( I like road trips)……in no way did I have the (conscious) thought or strong desire to drive back with a dog!
And if asked today why Monique didn’t come with me on that day, I’d have to say I don’t recall. I may ask her the next time I speak with her to see if she remembers.
The address was for a house in what appeared to be an affluent, upper-income area of Oceanside. The home may have been a tract home but a larger, nicer tract home built for upwardly-mobile families. The house had at least a two-car garage and a small, well-kept front yard. To the best of my memory, there were two cars and one of them was either a Porsche or other high-end car. The man I had talked to on the phone greeted me and proceeded to show me into the garage, where Max was being kept in a kennel. The kennel was certainly for a large dog, but not so large that he had much room inside to move around. Also, I heard dog barks from inside the house, so the man obviously had other dogs. I asked about why Max was kept separated from the other dogs, and not let into the house, and I wish I remembered his exact response, but I don’t. It was some kind of explanation to justify the separation but didn’t carry much weight with me. What I do recall is the response he gave when I asked him how long Max was kept in the kennel —- the man said from the time he left for work until he came back…..like a 9-5, white collar job. Probably as a result of seeing the expression on my face, the man stated that Max was taken for a walk in the morning and after he came home in the afternoon…….and, no……Max was not allowed into the house at night either.
From what I was told by this man, he had only had Max for a short period of time, maybe only a matter of days (I don’t recall how long), and that Max was “rescued”, “taken” from a family that couldn’t handle, didn’t want a large dog. Max had all his shots, would come with a collar and leash, vet paperwork from his previous owners, and there would be a $300 re-homing fee.
The man asked what, if any, previous experience I had with a Rottie, or any other dog. He also had me walk Max for a few yards on the front sidewalk to see how I would feel. I was open and sincere about my lack of experience in owning a dog, let alone a Rottie. Noticing my limp and limited mobility, I got the feeling he wanted to see if I could walk/handle Max.
However he ended up deciding as he did that I could handle, merited, should have Max, the man was willing to let me have him. By the time Max had been taken out of the of the kennel and I had walked him for literally a few yards, I knew that I wanted him. A bit of negotiation on the re-homing fee (I think we settled on $200), the collar, the leash, his vet paperwork, and an unsuccessful attempt to have him toss in the kennel as part of the package and Max was officially mine to take. To be fair to the man, there was additional conversation….about Rottie’s, training, books to read, how Max was a “clean slate” for me to train and bond with.
Now, here’s the defining experience that happened……what I believe to be the start of our mutually patient and trusting relationship……….
The car I was driving was an older (1990), 4 door, Mercedes 450 SEL. Very heavily used, lots of mileage, non-working A/C, and shall I say “lots of crap” inside the car.
The plan was to lead him into the front seat so we could “bond” on the traffic-heavy, long ride home.
As he was being led to the car, leashed, Max decided to lay belly-flat, on the grass, about 3 feet from the front seat. No bark, no growl, no aggressive behavior of any kind. Just laid down, flat……daring? wanting? needing? to be carried? pulled? coaxed? forced? into the car?? Or, was he saying he didn’t want to go with this stranger, in this beat-up, older Mercedes?!
My interpretation was that he was unsure, and from the get-go wanted to let it be known that he had a will, a personality, a stubborn side.
As an afterthought, I realized much later that the man had not mentioned anything about this particular behavior on Max’s part……did the man know? was this the first time Max did this? was this a behavior developed from whatever experience he had in his previous home?
The man offered to pick him up and put him in the car. I immediately said “No!” I did not want our relationship to begin with Max being “forced”.
As such, I got in the drivers seat holding the leash, the passenger door was wide open and Max was just laying on the grass outside, looking at me but not making any effort to get up and get in the car. After about 5-10 minutes of softly speaking to him, letting him know it’s ok, allowing periods of silence, very gently tugging on the leash…….Max decided to get up and jump into the front seat —- the man closed the passenger door —- and off we went! The first of many, many, many, many front seat rides that Max would have.
Oh yeah, the drive back took much longer than getting there; backed up traffic on both I-5 and then on I-15; no a/c; a warm/hot, sunny afternoon. Max sitting still, looking ahead and to his right, me periodically petting and talking to him.
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Max would/could stay with Monique. Fairly soon it became evident that he bonded with me, wanted to sleep in my house; open door policy…..he could go from the front house to the back house whenever he wanted. After a few months Monique decided to get a small, white fur ball by the name of Bali.
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Dog park —-
Starting immediately (the next day after bringing him home), I/we started taking Max to the dog park at Harry Griffin Park, a park in La Mesa, close to Grossmont High School. Either by myself, or with Monique, Max was taken to dog park almost daily. Some of the dogs would try to mount him and he would not react; some dogs barked at him; he was passive, almost docile/submissive. Would often plop down on his belly as we left dog bark, on our way to the car; same as he did when I first got him, very strongly indicating he didn’t want to leave. He would however get up and walk back towards dog park if he thought we were going that way. I/we never dragged him, or carried him ( I couldn’t even if I wanted to); it was always just patiently asking, urging, sometimes even pleading for him to get up and walk to the car. Sometimes just a few minutes; a few times 10-15 minutes. The good think was that with each subsequent trip to dog park, it seemed as if he was less and less likely (or shorter periods of time) to plop down to the ground and not move. This habit was only displayed when leaving dog park. After a few moths Max grew out of this habit when walking back from dog park with me. The only part of this habit that stayed with him much later in our relationship was when he would just sit and not go in a particular direction —- whether it was because it was a change in our usual route, or if he had gone far enough on our walk and wanted to head back home. Sometimes it was because of a particular, bothersome noise he had heard when previously in that area. On purpose, took him to different dog parks to give him exposure and opportunity to socialize with different people and different dogs. We went to dog parks in El Cajon, Balboa Park, the one close to the zoo, the one on the way to dog beach, dog beach, one up in Escondido, as well as some parks in Phoenix/Chandler/Tucson.
The El Cajon incident —- probably the 4th-5th time I was there —- a pit bull bit his lip, through the lip; no major fight (either with the dogs or between the owners) (I didn’t know what to do); the owner didn’t apologize nor show any concern; shortly after that incident, Max became less tolerant of certain other dogs (flat-faced breeds, most males, some dominant females)….barking, either in response or initiated on his own. Stopped taking him to dog park since he invariably didn’t get along with one or more of the dogs in the large-dog area. Most small dogs (male or female) he liked, apart from bull-dog and flat faced varieties and some dominant males. Still took him to dog parks when no one was around or very carefully assessing if he was going to have an issue with the dog(s) in there, or were coming in.
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Walks —-
started after dog park was no longer an option. Lake Murray (primary), Mast Park in Santee, Harry Griffin, Neighborhood (other primary)….almost without fail. 2x a day….rain or shine. Neighborhood in the mornings, then alternating with Lake Murray or Santee or Harry Griffin. Would say hi to many people and many dogs. Easy to tell if he wasn’t going to like a dog. In neighborhood he had a couple of favorites….two little ones, one boy and one girl that loved him…..they would bark in the window of the house as we passed, then the owners would let them out to greet us; they would run out, the boy did a cordial hello, the girl was all over him. Further on in the walk he’d see Minka (Bob and Sue’s dog); she was the ambassador of the neighborhood; she’d run up to him, he wanted to follow her wherever she went; she’d be off-leash. Pluto at Lake Murray —- riding in the basket of a bike, wearing goggles….he would whine from a distance when he spotted Max, almost crying until they were together; she’d hold him in her arms as they sniffed. Caine and Dixie (Jill’s dog), Caine the big male German shepherd and smaller, small Dixie —- Max loved Caine and would follow him around. Bentley, a mid-size boy dog of Lucy. The gentlemen with the small dogs, dark shades, janitor? At Harry Griffin. The couple that created the memorial at Harry Griffin and their dog Buddy. Barbie, the concession girl at Lake Murray loved him. The older couple at Santee….with a walker for her, no fear; she would hug him, face to face. The lady feeding the ducks, always had a treat for Max….his butt would wag from a distance when he saw her.
Before and after alleged bite incident — Rachel (#2) took him on walks at Harry Griffin.
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A few months after getting Max, Monique decided that she wanted a small dog, a dog just for her. Although the topic of her getting a dog was discussed in advance, and although I had expressed concern about getting another dog, Monique decided unilaterally to get one. My thought is —- she saw that Max had decided that I was his primary/Alpha and that she may not have the kind of relationship with Max as she was hoping. Or it could be that she had always planned on Max being my dog. Or it could be that she had always wanted a small, fu-fu dog, I don’t know. I do know that it was somewhat stressful when she made the decision on her own (even her daughter was initially surprised, disappointed by the decision. BUT…..as some decisions tend to do……getting “Bali” (Monique’s daughter picked the name, and what a great name!!) was a good decision, certainly for Monique, her daughter and even Max. For me, it added an extra layer of responsibility since I worked from home a lot and now there were two dogs to look after, one of them being the cutest little fluffy ball of white puppy you’ve seen in a long time. Bali ( a Shitzhue) and Max got along from the beginning. It’s almost as if Max was pre-destined to be a pappa, a dad, a protector, a nanny. Bali would bark at him, chew on him, especially the ears, and overall be an annoyance to him but he just took it like the patient, understanding older “brother from another mother” that he was. He tolerated her. Very gentle with her. Nudge her with his snout, rolling her on her back. Sometimes when he had enough, he would take her entire head in his mouth, gently, letting her know that even he had limits. It’s our (both Monique and I ) opinion that having Max around as she grew up was very helpful for Bali…….give a couple of reasons. Even after they moved out, for a few years, there were times in which Max would stay with Bali for a couple of days. Although not “joined at the hip”, their relationship was always friendly and tolerant of each other —- especially as Bali got older and established her own personality and character.
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Training — Trained Max to sit/stay. Trained Bali and Max together. Max was intact when I got him. Information I read and some people I spoke with said that keeping a dog intact for the first few years would help with growth, development and health. Because of his demeanor, and the remote thought that I may want Max babies in the future, I kept him intact. No food aggression…..I would take his food and bone away from him with no growling or aggressive behavior. Establishing trust.
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How I didn’t have a kennel. How a kennel was carried from the neighbors down the street by Ivan. How I ended up not using the kennel. How I had Max on a leash in the house, following me around wherever I went.
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